They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
