before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
