Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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