She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
