We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
