I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
