I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
