I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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