I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
