I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
