your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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