YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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