I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He better not be in your backpack
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
