i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
