At least make sure they are 18
Why
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
