Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
We got so high we made milksteak
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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