also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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