id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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