I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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