he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize