She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
