why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I wish you could order shots online.
im holly from the hills drunk
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Randomize
