just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
