I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
