Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
