"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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