I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
