Jerry, you need to find god
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
