I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
two words: eviction party
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
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