This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
