Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
false alarm, still single
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