Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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