If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Two words: nipple clamps
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
