your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
