He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
