so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
