i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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