literally had 100 drinks last night.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
