hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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