true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
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