Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
