smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
two words...techno handjob
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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