Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He shit in the fireplace
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
