I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
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