that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I party with great urgency now.
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