if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
