It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
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