Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
