I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
