Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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